


the hargreeve dumbasses

by orphan_account



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Luther Hargreeves Bashing, Luther Hargreeves Being an Asshole, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, no weird incest here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26698231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: number 1: Don't swear.number 4: fucknumber 2: shitnumber 5: dicknumber 6: assnumber 3: bitch---------------------------------------------Reggie decides to give the kids some phones so they can cooperate during missions. Butttttttt chaos ensues as you can imagine.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 106





	1. welcome to the groupchat bitches

**[number 1 created a group chat]**

**[number 1 added number 2, number 3, number 4, number 5 and number 6 to the group chat]**

**number 6:** hello??

**number 1:** So basically this groupchat is for during missions so we can communicate better.

**number 4:** EWWWWWWW is that punciatuon??????

**number 2:** yeah man y u using proper punctuaion this isnt a fucking letter

**number 1:** Don't swear.

**number 4:** fuck

**number 2:** shit

**number 5:** dick

**number 6:** ass

**number 3:** bitch 

**number 1:** Was that really called for?

**number 4:** YES

**number 5:** defintley 

**number 4:** im changing our names this feels too formal with the numbers and shit

**number 1:** No four don't.

**[number 4 changed the group chat name to the hargreeves dumbasses]**

**[number 4 changed number 4 to sup demons its me ya boi]**

**[sup demons its me ya boi changed number 2 to STABBY STABBY BITCH]**

**[sup demons its me ya boi changed number** 6 **to ben10]**

**[sup demons its me ya boi changed number 5 to blink IM GONE HAHAHA]**

**[sup demons its me ya boi changed number 3 to woahhh rumour has it]**

**[sup demons its me ya boi changed number 1 to daddy issues]**

**sup demons its me ya boi:** thats better 

**daddy issues:** I don't have daddy issues. 

**blink IM GONE HAHAHA:** u sure about that??

**daddy issues:** Yes.

**woahhh rumour has it:** these are actually good names

**sup demons its me ya boi:** IKR :) 

**daddy issues:** This group chat is supposed to be for missions only!

**ben10:** TOO BAD 

**the hargreeves dumbasses**

**ben10:** me and five having been talking sooo yeah trust us on this 

**[ben10 added number 7 to the group chat]**

**[ben10 changed number 7 to vanny]**

**vanny:** er hi???

**sup demons its me ya boi:** VANYA HIIII

**daddy issues:** Vanya this a group chat for missions please leave.

**blink IM GONE HAHAHA:** PLEASE FUCK OFF LUTHER 

**blink IM GONE HAHAHA:** and welcome to the groupchat vanny 

**daddy issues:** Why did you add her six?

**ben10:** cause this is a family gc and shes in the family 

**daddy issues:** Is she though?

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL STAB U LEAVE VANNY ALONE

**vanny:** i will just leave its fine 

**blink IM GONE HAHAHA:** VANYA STAY

**ben10:** i vote we kick luther out who agrees

**blink IM GONE HAHAHA:** I AGREE

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** i agree

**sup demons its me ya boi:** I 100000% FUCKING AGREE

**woahh rumour has it:** i guess i agree 

**sup demons it me ya boi:** BYE BITCH 

**[sup demons its me ya boi kicked daddy issues out of the group chat]**

**ben10:** u ok V???

**vanny:** im fine 

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** u sure????

**vanny:** yeah im good

**blink IM GONE HAHAHA:** good now im gonna go murder him 

**sup demons its me ya boi:** im coming too

**ben10:** me tooooooooooo

**woahhh rumour has it:** have fun with that 

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** im already murderin him

**sup demons its me ya boi:** shit shit shit dad 

**ben10:** luther told dad everyone hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any prompts will very helpful


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mostly focused on klaus cause he deserves it and i love himmmm. Also featuring my headcannon for how Diego got his scar 'cause in my mind it wasn't something heroic it was him being really stupid and your daily luther bashing. Enjoy :)

**the hargreeves dumbasses**

**woahh rumour has it:** sorry dad said we have to add luther otherwise the phones go 

**[woahh rumour has it added daddy issues to the group chat]**

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** ughhhh why does he have to back here

 **sup demons it me ya boi:** this was actually so much more fun without him

 **daddy issues:** u all know im right here???

 **sup demons its me a boi:** and thats supposed to change anything??

 **vanny:** ooo is it calling luther out for being a massive asshole time

 **ben10:** ok kinda scary that vanya has something bad to say about luther when she is literally the nicest one of us 

**woahh rumour has it:** ben ur a close 2nd hun 

**sup demons its me ya boi:** alli can u paint my nails??

 **woahhh rumour has it:** course honey come to my room

 **woahhh rumour has it:** vanny u can come too

 **daddy issues:** boys arent supposed to paint their nails

 **vanny:** OK THATS IT IM GONNA PUNCH HIM

 **BLINK IM GONE HAHAHA:** oh god u made vanny mad i would run before she hits u with her violin 

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** we should all paint our nails to prove bitch boy wrong

 **ben10:** that is such a good idea 

**sup demons its me ya boi:** party in alli's room everyone except luther invited!

 **ben10:** me and five are on our wayyyyy

 **vanny:** me and di will be there in a sec 

**daddy issues:** im telling dad 

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** cool

 **BLINK IM GONE HAHAHA:** have fun with that

 **vanny:** we dont really care 

**my favourite family members**

**I sEe GHosTs:** do u reckon luther was right about the nail thing??

 **squidward:** NO

 **my name is a fucking number:** ABSOLUTLEY NOT

 **I AM NOT THE LITTLE SISTER:** IM GONNA FUCKING KILL TAHT BITCH 

**I AM NOT THE LITTLE SISTER:** klaus we love u and u can do whatever want (as long as its not murder) and we wont judge u 

**squidward:** 'as long as its not murder' bitch were literally teen superheroes but go off i guess

 **my name is a fucking number:** yeah vanny we literally kill people really often u might want rethink ur priorities

 **I AM NOT THE LITTLE SISTER:** oh my god i was trying to be comforting please shut the fuck up u two

**I sEe GHosTs:** thanks idiots 

**my name is a fucking number:** what colour did y'all get ur nails done 

**I AM NOT THE LITTLER SISTER:** black 

**squidward:** pale blue

 **I sEe GHosTs:** bright red 

**my name is a fucking number:** also black 

**I sEe GHosTs:** coolio 

**the hargreeves dumbasses**

**sup demons it me ya boi:** who else think that diego accidentally cutting himself across the face cause he forgot to catch one of his knives is absolutley fucking hilaroius 

**STABBY STABBY BITCH:** hey dick it hurts a lot 

**daddy issues:** Can we please keep the swearing down to a minimum? This is supposed to be a formal group chat. 

**ben10:** never EVER in my life have I heard a group chat being decribed as 'formal'

 **BLINK IM GONE HAHAHA:** i have to agree with klaus here it was very funny

 **vanny:** OH MY GOD 

**vanny:** DID FIVE JUST AGREE WITH KLAUS ON SOEMTHING 

**woahhh rumour has it:** guys i think we might in an alternate universe cause FIVE JUST AGREED WITH KLAUS 

**BLINK IM GONE HAHAHA:** shut up u two 

**Author's Note:**

> prompts would be greatly appreciated


End file.
